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Re: Welcome! I am happy to help you!
Hi!
Your are writing poems - and poetic language isn't always following grammatical rules.
So - almost everything is OK there - as long it's understood correctly. So it's fine in that context - nice poem.
- Entäs is a slighly colloquial "puhekieli" expression for entä or entäpä. Note: Käsiisi instead of käsiinsi.
Grammatically (more) correct would be...
"Onni on olemassa niin kauan, kuin sitä etäältä katselet. Mutta kun kokeilet lähestyä sitä, se pakenee. Jos otat sen käsiisi, se katoaa pois"