Thread: Still want to move to Finland? Having a partner/friend there to help is very helpful!

-- The importance of having a friend/partner/buddy in Finland --

Part 2 of my Guide, migrating to Finland

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I thought I would start on part 2 of my guide in my experience in moving to Finland. This time I thought I would cover the importance of having some sort of friend or person whom can help you with any of the problems that you encounter.

Finns know how difficult it is in their country and that foreigners can easily get lost and even hurt when they don't know what they are doing. Finland being a country with so many natural hazards, snow, below freezing temperatures, (even drunk people count) is a place where you can come into quite a bit of serious harm.

Seeing as this scenario totally applied for me I thought it would be important to elaborate on it further for all of you so you may hopefully learn from my mistakes and your time there can be a lot more comfortable. So in this thread I wish to address the importance of having a friend or taking a friend or boyfriend/girlfriend/partner with you. But in the most case I will try and cover the importance of actually having a 'native Finn' as a friend there. Specifically one that is happy in helping you.

Like I said before Finland has a lot of hazards, having someone with you who is used to the way the world works in Finland and knows their way around can obviously make your stay a lot more comfortable. You can relax knowing that they would hopefully be more than happy to do your translating for you and the odd job or two like calling ylläpito or maintenance when you accidentally lock yourself out of your apartment.

Not having someone around can make a huge difference on the amount of help and support (if any) that you will get whilst in Finland as the general public has at times proved to be less than willing to to give assistance. In many cases members from the public can claim ignorance and refuse to speak English at all just so you go away.

You might be thinking well it's impossible to have a friend in Finland at this time, or how should I find one or what should I do? Do I have to pay to have a guide or some sort of person to accompany me? The answer is simply, absolutely not. While there may be a business in Poland and Russia for those sorts of things I am yet to find the same thing in Finland and I hope I never do.

Finding someone whilst overseas that can help you on your stay requires a huge investment of time so if you can start early it is always best to do so. You might think it's totally pointless but if that is the way you think then you obviously aren't prepared to do what it takes when going to Finland to make your time more comfortable and therefore I would advise against coming.
If you have some months to spare and a bit of time on hand then you should try finding some friends from Finland in areas you would like to visit. In the end these can be the people whom you ultimately go to see when you go on your trip to Finland, even better you may get to stay with these people which will save you an absolute fortune on accommodation in hotels or the like. Where these people are located can also help you plan the rest of your trip as you could alternate between those places. Some of your friends should be more than happy to allow you to stay and if you offer to share the way in rent and other expenses trust me you should be welcomed with open arms. If a lonely resident in Finland could get company and only have to pay a share of the expenses then all the better for them, and for you. You will have a friend to talk to and ask any questions that you might need to know the answers of and you have a safe place to call your 'base' that you can retreat to if the outside world proves too harsh.

Making a friend in Finland is simple enough, a good grip on Finnish helps but is generally not required or expected, however actually having one and being honest is extremely beneficial as Finns generally tend to take a liking to someone who has put a lot of time and effort into learning their language. Most who are often skeptical soon come to like someone who is determined in not quitting. In the most case, making a friend is simply just an act of commitment and consistency. You must be consistent in your communication and genuine in that you want a friend not just a place to stay or support from a native. Life of course goes both ways, give and you shall receive, if you want a friend be a friend. Treat others with respect always, but further information on making friends is outside the scope of this guide. I simply want to cover the importance of them.

Take my stay in Finland for example. I came to Finland and stayed with someone whom I made plans with in the last 2 weeks of me leaving. At the very end of my last time in my home country I organized to stay with a female friend of mine and her family for 2 weeks before I moved on somewhere. I had also organized to stay with a lot of other people and one family was going to happily have me stay for a month but they ended up getting a divorce in the last few weeks of me coming. You have to allow for these things to happen. No one is going to hate you if you plan an expedition to Finland in which you only stay a few weeks or so at each place. Although if things are going well at one place it is advisable to stay as having 1 grounded area that you can rely on is more than enough. Putting yourself out of that situation for a roll of the dice at another will be a waste of effort and could work out badly. I wouldn't attempt this unless you can support yourself if things fall though. There is only a certain degree of reliability in staying with another person as times change, circumstances change and people change. I wouldn't even say that 5 offers at a place to stay would be too much as out of 6 offers I had 4 of them ultimately fell through.

After you have some solid friends or so you could go about asking them to find you an apartment. If it does not require a large investment of time usually they would be more than happy to, or in my case (and better yet) they might actually know someone who has an apartment who is looking for a resident. If you can fit the build than they would usually be more than happy to rent the place to you. Congratulations in finding accommodation so easily where others try and try and just keep failing and failing. Finnish people know that when they put an advertisement in the paper for their apartment that they will in most cases, get no less than 10 people who want to rent it. They simply just take their pick of resident. If you have friends than can hook you up with a place to rent and call your own base you then have a soft place to fall if something happens and possibly a pad to host your own parties and other little events. I cannot stress the importance of having an apartment instead of a hostel bed or a hotel room. Apartments are generally cheaper on a 'length of stay' basis and can give you a ton more freedom than a hostel bed or a hotel room. If the apartment isn't much 'chop' I would still just say you'll take it for the time being, you can in most cases just reject your offer later on. Apartments are a very important and rare currency in Finland and in almost all instances only native Finns are educated in the way that apartments are shared/spread/divided out amongst those who want them and those who actually get them.

So of course it will be a lot easier if you have someone to help you find one of those and who can check the papers for you. Just don't rely on that as no one is going to rent to someone currently out of the country unless they are your friends dad or uncle or such. Any business person or just generally smart person isn't going to wait for a 'maybe' adventurer such as yourself to come to Finland and 'possibly' rent their apartment. They want people already there that are practically living without anything whom would jump at the opportunity to have a place to set down their bag. Asking for help in looking for an apartment or with anything without being in a proper friendship is also of course considered 'rude'. So at least make a genuine friendship first. You wont last 5 seconds if you trigger alarm bells that someone is being used in order for their 'services'. You're going to have to 'give' a lot if you want to have a comfortable time in Finland, I got lucky in that I found someone genuine to stay with in my last 2 weeks of being in my own country and before that I had an apartment set up in Rovaniemi that my best friend at the time had gone to the trouble of cleaning and organizing for me.

Apart from accommodation which is a big step and also a long shot in getting. It's generally a lot more fun if you have friends whom can invite you to parties and help you with speaking the language and getting around. These people can be met anywhere, on the internet and in person on the street or in parks is a great way. You'll have to build up a lot of courage if want to approach someone but generally people are happy for company if you are in the top percentile of outspoken, harmless, humorous individuals. I met scores of people including my fiancé just by introducing myself to the natives in Finland. Those who knock you back or make you feel uncomfortable will probably never see you again anyway. Approaching someone obviously is all about timing and preparation. On a scale of 1 to 10 a group of people being a 10, or the most difficult and a person on their own still being a 10 as difficult. However not impossible. If you aren't prepared to take a gamble at meeting people why bother coming?

If you are already in love with someone in Finland consider seriously asking them to help you find a place to stay if you cannot stay with them. If you cant stay with them ask yourself is it even worth coming. Plan your entire trip together and let them know that they are going to be utilized for their skills and knowledge of their home land. It's fair! You are going to need all the help you can get! If you are going to leave your home country to lead a life with a Finnish citizen the least they can do is help make your stay more comfortable, so really nothing is out of the question. You are leaving your base country to pursue a life in Finland, that is a huge step so it's a penance to ask for their help in making both your time together easier and in most cases they already know what is required of them.

Focusing back on meeting people. The internet and forums like these is a great way to at least establish a sort of spider web bond with others. That may not be the 'best adjective' but I mean it when I say that small things like this can start off strong friendships with a lot of effort and consistency. I wont lie and say that it isn't a long shot but it worked for me and it can just as easily work for you. There are a lot of things about Finland that I wont say in this guide as sadly it would be taken the wrong way by many and the overall helpfulness of the information would be lost in a possible flame war. You will just have to work it out for yourself and use whatever analytical part of your brain that you possess.

Respect, time, honesty, money, diligence, determination and possibly even a little bit of luck all play into finding somebody that can make your time more comfortable here as well as in turn making their own. Just don't be deterred by the fact that it can take a year of consistent friendship for someone to actually want to meet you and in doing so offer their assistance, let alone their place of residence.

Finland is a complicated place that requires a lot of money as well, you would do well to save as much as you can in any way that you can. Which means give up smoking and drinking before you go. You will not have the money to hang on to such luxuries and that is what they are. Luxuries. The more amount of time and effort you put into coming here the better your stay will always be and in many cases the only way that it will even work. You can never work too hard to make your time more comfortable before you leave.

That being said I will end this topic here with a simple good luck and leave you with a few places to find some friends online. Pen-paling is usually how most friends start off. Finland has one if the highest ranked participators of 'post-crossing'. Which is the act of sending letters to other places in the world and then receiving a random letter back from a random location. Thankfully they're pretty attuned to making friends over oceans so try those websites first.

Places like Interpals, PenpalWorld and Ppi.searchy are great websites. Listed in order from best to perhaps least reliable in finding friends (from my experience). Use google, I wont direct link them there.

Good luck again to you! Remember well that a lot of time, effort and planning is needed to migrate or even holiday to Finland. Don't be ignorant in thinking that these things only take a few months to plan out. You will quickly realise that you could be in for a huge wait and a lot of effort.

I am happy to provide assistance here or on Msn, simply send me a personal message for my address. I am sure others on the forum would be happy to offer help as well and are of course already doing so. That's part of what being a community is about. Good luck and may you ride the winds of opportunity.

P.S. Again like my other thread, to avoid spam please keep all replies that are off-topic to a maximum of 0. If you wish to talk about this thread please do so but in a way that it will not lose it's collaboration. Thanks for understanding. If the thread is spammed I may ask the Admin to prune posts.

Respectfully,
Zeptinune.