Thread: what a Finnish girl/women likes and loves??

I am new here in Finland.I would like to get to know Finnish girls. Why girl ?
Because I am straight man and I wanna make friendship or date a Finnish girl . Why Finnish girl? If I wanna know the country and the culture here better , Finnish girls are the best teachers, not a foreigner like me :-D. I guess, every girl is different but still there will be many common features.
So, I would like to know stuffs like : what they like, do they like foreign persons, nice or tough guys, what do they expect from friendship, what do they expect from a foreign person, what kind of places do they like to date ( movies, night clubs, or just Coffee shop), what is important to them in a relationship,what they expect from a relationship, are they faithful in a relationship. It is true that there are no rules , I also think like that but there are many things which one should avoid.

So, what is your opinion :-D? Please look at the topic before you answer. I would really appreciate friendly answers and opinions.
I wish you all a happy easter holiday.

Hello bt_tkk!

I'm a Finnish girl but I not sure if I represent the stereotypical Finn. I can still give you my opinion.

When asked what's the important most quality in a good person most Finns will answer "Honesty and sincerity" A Finnish person will respect someone who can state their opinion clearly and articulately according to their opinion. That means that when you have an opinion you should be able to back it up with some good reasoning. It also means that bullshit (sorry for faul language) small talk will make Finnish feel uncomfortable. So if you don’t have anything real to say just shut up. It sounds harsh but we really are a quiet nation. When it comes to girls one should avoid over complimenting random stuff. It makes the girl question your sincerity. Also telling her how you feel is crucial. Flirting is not as essential part of Finnish culture than many other cultures (f.e. American) and that’s why some Finnish girls might be unable to read “signs”. Just tell the girl how you feel or else she will just think you as an friend. You might fear that that ruins the friendship but I Finnish girls (and people in general) have a very practical way of looking at things and will not dwell on the matter for too long. Honesty still should not be interpited as arrogance an know-it-all-ism. Because modesty is the next thing on the “qualities of a good person” list.

As you might know Finland is one of the most sexually equal countries in the world. I think it really shows in dating and relationships. Finnish women want to be treated equally and if they feel that this is not the case they will fiercely tell that to you. Every girl loves a gentleman who will carry heavy groceries and pay the bill every once in a while but acting like a macho “I‘m in control” man is SO (sorry for teenage language) out! It is also very acceptable for a Finnish girl to have “manly” hobbies and vice versa (almost). Don’t be surprised if you see a twenty-something guy knitting a pair of mittens or if you meet a girl obsessed with world of warcraft.

I’m not sure but I think that the equalization of sexes has lead to women adopting “manly” sexual behavior. Having casual relationships and hitting on the opposite sex is just as acceptable to women as it is for men. Unfortunately this applies to faithfulness in relationships. A lot of people are out there just to have fun. So when you meet someone you should make sure that you’re looking for the same thing. The expectations in more serious relationships are varied. I often feel that peoples values don’t match my traditional family values. The status of marriage has declined dramatically over the past two decades and that really shows in statistics.

Equalization also shows in drinking habits. Many foreign people are shocked by how much Finnish girls drink. Drinking plays a big part in the Finnish social scene. Many Finns are a little shy and reserved when in the company of someone they don’t know so drinking is a quick fix to this. A good idea is to take a girl out to nice bar with live music or something. The key to a success is NOT to act like a Finnish guy and get ridiculously drunk and cop a feel but to release the tension. You must think “that goes without saying” but I’ve gotten some bad experiences and that’s why I don’t date Finns anymore!

Another options for dating… hmm. I think that dating is very similar in Finland than in other western cultures. Going to a coffee shop is a very safe choice because almost all Finns LOVE coffee. But when I think about couples in my social circle I realize that most of them never went to any official dates but somehow friendship turned into a relationship. This is common in many other countries too but especially common in Finland because it takes a LONG time for Finns to get comfortable being around a new person so going on a date would create additional pressure, sometimes too much to handle. Sometimes I find myself waiting for a guy (someone who has given signs of interest) to make a move (as said, I’m traditional and want the guy to initiate) and when he never does I think “I guess he didn‘t like me that much”

There are both pros and cons for foreigners in Finland. The biggest pro is that most of young Finnish people speak good English. Foreign people will also always spark some extra interest but I think that Finnish girls will get over that soon and (hopefully) start seeing you for the person you are rather quickly. So not too much riding on the “exotic foreigner” wave, sorry. The con is that there is still a lot of racism in Finland. Especially in the countryside. But I presume from your username that you are a TKK student and live in the Helsinki (or Espoo, Vantaa) area. Helsinki is an international city and people usually don’t have anything against foreign people (at least when they are sober). But what kind of treatment you will receive really depends on your ethnicity. For example Russians get often horrible treatment in Finland because of the long and painful history between Finland and Russia . But lets say Japanese will get a lot of positive attention because Japan is “in” right now.

Good luck with getting to know my beautiful country and its culture!

hey,
you said something about traditions,could you explain it a bit more?
and what are finns behaviour-both male and female- towards 3rd world countries?

Originally Posted by justMe

Hello bt_tkk!

I'm a Finnish girl but I not sure if I represent the stereotypical Finn. I can still give you my opinion.......

I think that you have written a very good post there justMe. I have been to Finland many times and you have expressed my understanding very well indeed.

I have observed alot of the characteristics you described above, and there are a few others too.

Thank you justME. I think it is good to know the infos you have written here.

Drummerac, it will be nice if you would also share your other experiences with Finns and other characteristics which are different from justME.

Originally Posted by bd_tkk

Thank you justME. I think it is good to know the infos you have written here.

Drummerac, it will be nice if you would also share your other experiences with Finns and other characteristics which are different from justME.

Certainly!

Finnish women stare into your eyes (for what feels like an infinity) while listening to every word you say, it is a very strange feeling, kind of like an interrogation. In other cultures it is normal to look someone in the eye, but not to hold it for long

Also never wear your shoes into a Finnish ladies apartment, she will quickly tell you to take them off in a very stern manner.

They are honest, sometimes brutally honest

Another thing is that they are very independent, there are no "Hussy Goldiggers" in Finland!

Originally Posted by drummerac

Finnish women stare into your eyes (for what feels like an infinity) while listening to every word you say, it is a very strange feeling, kind of like an interrogation. In other cultures it is normal to look someone in the eye, but not to hold it for long

Yeah, I was impressed when I met a Finnish girl when I was on holidays in the south of Argentina a couple of years ago. It wasn't a date of course, but we talked and she stared at my eyes the whole time of our conversation. It got me a little nervous at the beginning, but then I understood that it might have been a part of their culture (?)

Originally Posted by Sani

I guess that all really depends on the woman what she likes and loves.
Hmm, the staring might be because english is not our native language and personally I understand better if I also "see" the words, if you know what I mean? I don't normally stare at people unless they have really fantastic eyes or something X-D

But to understand someone in another language, wouldn't it be better to stare at the lips instead? I'm just saying :P

Finnish women stare into your eyes (for what feels like an infinity) while listening to every word you say, it is a very strange feeling, kind of like an interrogation. In other cultures it is normal to look someone in the eye, but not to hold it for long

This was really interesting comment, I hadn't realised that there's something strange about it and it didn't certainly come to my mind that foreign guys could feel like described above about it

what a Finnish girl likes and loves??

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am new here in Finland.I would like to get to know Finnish girls. Why girl ?
Because I am straight man and I wanna make friendship or date a Finnish girl...

Hello bt_tkk!

I'm a Finnish girl but I not sure if I represent the stereotypical Finn. I can still give you my opinion....

I think your answer is very good and truthful atleast from my point of view. I'd have probably said the same things, except that coffee thing since I'm one of those who hates coffee. xD
About the racism thing: It's true that it still exists a lot, but in the end the most important matter is how you act. I think you bd_tkk are doing pretty well already since you're interested in to find out what Finns appreciates and maybe act according to that knowledge. That's very important and gives much better picture from you if you show that you're really interested about the rules and manners of Finns.

[/QUOTE]For example Russians get often horrible treatment in Finland because of the long and painful history between Finland and Russia[/QUOTE] - Ouch I have no chance (

What I like about the Finnish girls, then they have their own peculiar Nordic beauty (as The Snow Queen). They beckon her blue eyes in the depth of Finnish lakes.
Maybe they, like Aphrodite, emerged from the deep lake? ;-)
Sorry for offtop.